Grandma's budget advice (like it or not)
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- Published on Wednesday, 22 September 2010 11:51
Hypothetical budget advice from a Grandmother (humor piece)
Grand-daughter:
We really need to budget. Things are getting tight. How did you do it back then? How did you raise four kids on a bread man's salary and still have time and money for yourself?
Grandmother:
For myself? What are you talking about? I had kids. My kids needed food. We made sure they got some.
Grand-daughter:
I don't think you understand, Grandma. The cost of living has gone up now. Way back in the 50's you had it easy. I NEED my nails to be done. I feel GOOD when my nails are done. Yeah, it's expensive, but totally worth it. I look gooooood.
Grandmother:
Way back then, as you mention, we knew that the corner drugstore sold nail clippers for 39 cents. I used them.
Grand-daughter:
Okay. Fine. So I could cut back on nail appointments if I HAVE TO. But that's not our only expense. Dear hubby needs a big screen TV for Sunday football games. He really likes to watch the games and figures he deserves it. He works so hard. The cheapest big screen we could find was $2,800. That was a smokin deal.
Grandmother:
You know that corner drugstore I mentioned? When your Grandfather said he wanted a new television set for sports, instead of his old radio, I told him to go to the drugstore. To buy a football for three dollars and to take his entitled bum outside and use it. With the kids.
Grand-daughter:
I love shoes. I mean - I really love them. Jimmy Choo shoes are amazing. They do cost a lot but high fashion comes with a price. You know what I'm say'n Grandma?!
Grandmother:
I think Jimmy Choo owned the drugstore I was talking about. He was a good man. Hard working and always had a piece of candy for every kid that came in. I never saw any shoes there, though. I was perfectly content with the shoes I found at Sears. They lasted ten years, don't you know?
Grand-daughter:
Sheesh. Whatever. Next topic. So tell me how I'm supposed to budget for the school year. I took the kids shopping at the department store and they all wanted name brand clothing. I dropped 2 Grand last week, just to be sure they were clothed for the year! That's crazy. How do other families do this?
Grandmother:
Remember Montgomery Ward? They had good sales back when my kids were young. Each kid got a pair of shoes, two pairs of pants, three tops and some socks and undies. I think I spent around $50 on each child and they were set for the year.
Grand-daughter:
What did you do if the pants got holes? Every time my kids get a little hole we have to go buy more pants. Each pair runs me $99 - the kids HAVE to have the latest style. That's just how things are now, Grandma. It's a NEED.
Grandmother:
That same corner drugstore sold patches and sewing kits. Twenty five cents per patch and the kit was two dollars. Us moms knew that we had better stock up because every other mom would buy the patches, too. We knew the kids would get holes and we were prepared. Those pants lasted all year long with a patch.
Grand-daughter:
I saw these curtains in the magazine last week.I HAD to have them. I work so hard as a mom and I just knew those curtains were for me! They screamed, "BUY ME!" So I did. HAHAHA. Don't they look amazing? Only three hundred for the set!
Grandmother:
The sewing shop near me used to sell material for a good price. I made curtains for my home. I spent ten dollars on fabric and worked hard to make the curtains - for each room. I still have them, too. You might laugh at me, but those curtains are still holding up after all these years. I would have given them to you if I'd known you needed curtains.
Grand-daughter:
Oh, that's sweet. How...well...okay. I'll just say thanks. Very nice of you. Maybe if I REALLY need to save money I'll come and ask for your old-time curtains. Thanks, Grandma. Oh! Another thing we spend a lot on is medicine. We all have allergies, pain meds, more meds for the side effects, etc. How did you people survive back then, with so many bills? TELL ME!
Grandmother:
Corner drugstore - they sold ginger cubes and caster oil. Each kid took a spoonful before school and rarely got sick. Ginger was great for colds. A full bag cost me one dollar and lasted for a month.
Grand-daughter:
Ginger is gross. Caster oil is nasty. There's no way our family is doing that crap. We're not cave people here.
Grandmother:
Has this chat been of any help to you, dear?
Grand-daughter:
Oh, sure - thanks. I just wish I knew the answers, Grandma. You paid cash for a house back then with four kids to raise. I only have two kids. I just don't get it. How did you do it? It's so unfair.
Grandmother:
This is the generational offspring my loins produced? Dear God in heaven.
{I know she's got some high end liquor around here. Where is it?}
ABOUT the Author:
Shara Lawrence-Weiss is the owner of Mommy Perks, Personal Child Stories, Early Childhood News and Resources and Kids Perks. She has a background in education, early childhood, nanny work, published freelance, marketing and special needs.
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Comments
Not long ago a friend of mine passed by. I looked at my husband and said, "Um. THOSE were not there last week, right?" He replied, "Ahh...nope. THOSE are new."
Hubby out of work...living in a borrowed home, etc...and brand new "you know what's." Hmmm...serious Body Image issues going on there. I blame the media.
I had so many shoes in the Valley...but when we moved up here I donated most of them. I still have a good 20 pairs! I did get them all on sale, though - in my defense. And by sale I mean 10 or 15 dollars. Not $1,300
Thanks for the laugh!
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